


Don't ever be sorry

by shaggingtomlinson



Series: A change for the better [2]
Category: One Direction
Genre: Fluff, I really hate tagging, M/M, Maybe I should get some help with this, Oh, Regret, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1867950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaggingtomlinson/pseuds/shaggingtomlinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He couldn't look him in the eyes, and he shifted his glance downwards, deciding to focus on the little Z tattoo on his chest, the one that matches his own L tattoo on his body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't ever be sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [Erin](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolentEcstasy/profile) for betaing!

For the first time since they got together back in high school almost four years ago, Zayn woke up before Liam. They were completely different when it came to sleep, Zayn liked to sleep as long as possible, dragging it out as much as he could, while Liam liked to get up early and go for a jog before he came back to wake up Zayn. 

This day was different though. It was barely six am and Zayn was wide awake and just watching Liam sleep. He had been woken up by a nightmare, not the kind of really scary unrealistic nightmares that he'd sometimes get, but a nightmare of him and Liam in high school. It was way before they got together and it still kept haunting Zayn.

He didn't want to remember the horrible things he did to Liam back then, he didn't want to remember all those names he called him or the pain he caused him. He was horrible towards him and Zayn wanted to punch himself for how he acted. How could Liam live in the same flat with him and sleep in the same bed with him every night? How could Liam even look him into the eyes every night and tell him he loves him? 

Zayn don't think he would ever forgive Liam if it was the other way around. 

But he's glad Liam did. The past four years have been the best years of Zayn's life. Having Liam constantly there around him, talking to him, cuddling with him and just generally being there made him so, so happy. Liam made him a much better person, and he cringes every time he thinks about not having Liam as his boyfriend. Liam was his everything. 

He knows that Liam doesn't know how much he regrets everything he did towards him. He never really apologised for any of it. He don't know how to do it. Liam had probably forgotten about it or just didn't care, but Zayn cared. Liam deserved a decent apology. He just needed to figure out how to give it to him. 

He lightly brushed his fingers trough Liam's hair and tried not to wake him up. He just wanted to watch his amazing sleeping boyfriend a little while longer. 

He had thought about an apology lots of times over the last four years, but every time he thought about just coming out with it and say it, he'd chicken out. It was hard. How do you apologise for something that happened four years ago without sounding pathetic? 

Liam is the most beautiful person Zayn's ever seen in his life and he can't understand why he didn't see it before they got together. How could he miss something like that? And how is Liam even his? His to wake up to, his to share a flat with, his to cuddle whenever he wants, his to call his boyfriend and his to love with all his heart. 

He was leaning on his arms, just hovering a few centimetres above Liam's face, so when the first tear fell from his eyes, there was nothing he could do to stop it before it landed on his boyfriend's face and woke up him. 

“Zayn?” 

Zayn sniffed and dried his eyes before he leaned down to kiss his love good morning. 

“Morning.” 

Liam leaned back up and pecked his lips once more before he dried away the new tears that had spilled. 

“What's wrong? Why are you crying?” 

Liam looked so worried and Zayn couldn't help but chuckle at how cute it was and continued to brush his fingers through his hair, he just loved playing with his hair. 

“There's nothing wrong, I promise. I'm just really happy.” 

Zayn laid down beside the other boy, resting the side of his head on his shoulder and the rest of his body as close to his as possible so that he could slip his arm around his waist. 

“What's making you so happy that it's worth crying for?” 

Zayn could feel Liam's soft fingers stroking his back and seconds later he felt Liam's lips in his hair. Just simple things like that could make his heart feel like it was ready to pop out of his chest because it was beating so hard. 

“You, us, our life, everything. I love you.” 

He dragged himself closer to Liam's body at the same time as Liam tried to get him closer as well. It was nice, just lying there. Maybe this would be the perfect time to come with that apology. 

“I love you too.” 

They became silent after that, listening to each other's breathing and heartbeats. It was peaceful and he loved him. Zayn almost didn't want to ruin it, but he had to. It would never be done if he didn't. 

“Li?” 

It came out as barely a whisper, if a car had driven past just when he said it, it wouldn't have been heard. 

“Hm?” 

Another kiss was placed in his hair and it almost made him cry again, almost. 

“I'm sorry.” 

He didn't want to look at Liam while he said it, but it was hard when Liam wanted he look at him. He shifted from under him and moved so that they were both facing eachother. He could clearly see the confusion on his face. Now he did start to cry. 

“What are you sorry for, babe?” 

He couldn't look him in the eyes, and he shifted his glance downwards, deciding to focus on the little Z tattoo on his chest, the one that matches his own L tattoo on his body. 

“For everything that happened in high school. For bullying you, for throwing things at you, for calling you names, for pushing you around and for hurting you. I'm so, so, so, sorry.” 

He sounded like an idiot for apologising this late and for crying about it. Like he had a right to do it. In his head, he had no right, but in Liam's he seemed like he had. Liam's too good for him. 

“Z, look at me.” 

He didn't want to, he tried to shake his head, tried to resist, but when he felt fingers under his chin, he couldn't fight them. 

“There's nothing to be sorry for, okay. I forgave you a long time ago. You never did anything that bad. I never really got hurt that much. I never had to go to the hospital or leave the school for anything you did. Just a few nosebleeds at the worst. I survived and look where we are. We live in our own flat in London together, we both go to Uni together, in a few days we're celebrating our four year anniversary and soon enough, when we're both finished with school and have a steady income, we'll have a proper house together. One that'll maybe fit a one or two more running around.” 

Zayn immediately started crying harder, knowing perfectly well what Liam was talking about. The fact that Liam had even thought about it in the first place was in enough for Zayn's heart to swell up in his chest.

“You want to have kids with me?” 

He had thought about it a million times, imagined them in a decent sized house with two little children running around their feet trying to get them to play. He didn't think Liam had thought about the same thing. 

“There's not a day where I don't think about it. I love you so much Zayn, I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I want to start a real life with you. I want to get married, have kids, have grandkids and grow old with you. I want to share every big moment in my life with you.” 

If Zayn didn't know that his ribs were strong enough to hold his heart inside his body, he was sure it would've been out of it a long time ago. He was sure that if the neighbours were quiet enough and pressed their ears to the walls, they could hear his heart beating. 

“I want all of that too.” 

It was maybe not the best thing he could've said, but he was lost for words really. What do you say after someone says something like that to you? Liam didn't mind though, and leaned down to kiss his lips. 

“Good, that's all I want to hear. Now stop crying, okay? I don't like seeing you cry.” 

He could only nod as he sniffed and dried his eyes as much as he could to get rid of all of the tears. When they were all gone, Liam once again leaned down to kiss him. 

“Don't ever be sorry, okay. I love you more than anything, don't forget that. Get some more sleep, okay? I'll go and make us some breakfast.” 

He pulled his duvet off his body and was about to climb out of bed when Zayn stopped him, pulling him back down. 

“Sleep with me, please?” 

 

He didn't need to be told twice, and settled back into bed, cuddling Zayn as close to him as possible. Breakfast could wait, he had a much better alternative right beside him.


End file.
